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Over compensating

Im too stressed out to sleep… I feel like I can hear my own heartbeat at this point. I dont know if my brain is staying awake trying to over compensate for the lack of control I have over my life right now but its really taking its toll on me. I hate the fact that I cant work on things I need to get done because things have to run on a certain time… it just stresses me out having to wait and prolong something that can be done here and now…
Jesus Christ
Its getting harder and harder to breathe

ADULTHOOD

I can’t help but feel so unprepared for being an adult. Theres so much to do and not enough hours in the day to do things. The only thing I can do to combat my anxiety is to be very organized and repetitive with every imporatant thing im doing. So far its working but im scared that all of the things im inputting in my brain will just overflow and ill loose all off the information im trying to retain. The best way I can describe it is when your phone runs out of memory and it starts to slow down and it doest process information as quick… but instead of memory its brain space.
The weird part is I think im starting to feel it happening… ive been catching myself having random parapraxis when I have conversations with people and I say something and my thoughts im multitasking just spills out of my mouth and I end up sounding crazy and random. Freudian slips fucking suck…

Being an adult isnt fun…
Being responsible is hard…
I dont wanna fuck up my life too early…